okay, fine.
since i can't get to sleep, i'll post a post that is longer that 20 words. :D
it seems like when you are tired you gain more energy, or may be not.
but why can't i sleep?
may be it's because i don't want to sleep.
it's true that you can control everything in your body by thinking, you rule your body.
that's what i realised.
it's like when you think that you think you can do it, you can, but of course you need to something to make it happen.

sometimes i have many things to say and talk about, but i just can't bring it out.
i even prepare what i wanna talk about sometimes, so that i won't just keep quiet. but yeah, i just can't talk anything when it's face-to-face. i get quite upset when this happens. i want to understand people and also want people to understand me, but sometimes they just get misunderstood. i can talk a lot when i feel very comfortable with the person, but when i don't talk to you it doesn't always mean that i don't feel comfortable with you. it's just complicated. :[
everyone has their own complicated things that they just can't help it and explain it.

i get upset when i can't lend my shoulders to those who need to cry on.
i get upset when i can't be there for those who needs my help.
i get upset when i can't do anything for the ones i love.
i know it's all about i want or i don't want, not i can or i can't
i know i can do everything if i want to.
so from now on, i will try to change for the better.
if you think i can help you, please tell me your problems, talk to me, i'll do all what i can do.
i don't want to be just a bystander, i would feel so useless and helpless if i become one.


so now, i'm going to give a command to my body to stop blogging and go sleep.
i control my thoughts, my thoughts control my brain and my brain controls my body. that's how it works. :D